When I first met you, I immediately knew that you would become special to me. I immediately knew you were the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and I felt like I’d known you forever.
When I first met you, I immediately knew I was willing to give you my heart completely without thinking of the consequences.
Before our paths crossed, I have to admit I didn’t believe in the concept of soulmates and I especially didn’t believe in love at first sight. For me, that was all bullshit.
It was living life in a fairy tale, where you know someone is meant to be yours the moment you lay your eyes on them. Where you overcome all the obstacles and finally where you have your happy ending.
Where you love just one person through good and bad days and where you eventually get to have your happily ever after with this person.
But life proved me wrong.
It proved to me that I can love someone from the moment I meet him and that I can have my fairy tale romance.
Because our love was exactly like that—a fairy tale.
But life also played me. And sometimes I feel that it gave me my fairy tale just to prove to me I was wrong and to give me evidence that things like that existed.
Because then everything was taken away from me, as if I was punished for not believing and for being a skeptic.
Because somehow, our fairy tale romance failed to have its happy ending. But it was no less of a fairytale.
You and I did love each other very much and nobody can say differently. I know you were my soulmate and that I was yours.
Even though we are no longer together, I still know how big our love was and how we both wanted for things to work out.
But somehow, we failed to stay together. I guess we weren’t strong enough when we needed to fight for each other and ironically, we both gave up so easily on something that was so strong.
I’ll never know what caused us to finally split. Was it our hot tempers? Was it our stubbornness? Was it the fact that we were so alike that we simply didn’t know how to handle each other? Was it the fact that we loved each other so deeply that this love consumed us and that we didn’t know how to deal with it? Was it our pride and ego?
Whatever the reason is, the fact is that we don’t exist anymore. The fact is that we didn’t make it.
And that is something I will never forgive myself for allowing to happen.
But it doesn’t mean that we never existed and that we were never a thing. Because what we had was definitely real.
It doesn’t mean I didn’t love you and you didn’t love me back. Because our love was the most intense emotion I’ve ever felt in my life and I am pretty sure I’ll never feel anything like that ever again.
It doesn’t mean we weren’t worthy. Because our relationship was the most valuable thing in my life and I will cherish the memory of it, no matter how much time passes by.
Just because we didn’t stay together, it doesn’t mean our story isn’t worth mentioning. Because I will never be able to act like we never happened and like our love wasn’t a part of my life. Because it marked me for life and it is definitely something that left a stamp on my personality for good.
No, we didn’t have our happy ending and we won’t spend our lives living happily ever after together.
Call me idealistic, overly romantic or even cheesy but somehow, deep down, I am still convinced that you are my only soulmate, although you are obviously not my forever person.
I am still convinced that a love like ours will never happen again and that it will always remain special to me.
I am still convinced that our relationship was unique, that it was something that happens once in a lifetime and that it will never happen again.
I am still convinced that I won’t love anyone the way I loved you and I am sure nobody could ever make me feel loved the way you did.
But that is just something I have to learn to live with. The same way I have to learn to live without you.