I could say that I’ve always been a modest girl who never asked for much.
I never looked for a man who would give me fancy presents or a man who would take me out on expensive dinners on a regular basis.
But I was never modest when it came to other, more important things, such as love and respect. Those things were never negotiable for me and I was never ready to settle for less.
One could think of me as a girl who is hard to love but the truth is that I’ve just had some strong relationship deal-breakers. I’ve always wanted a man who would love me the way I loved him, a man who would respect me, no matter what, and a man who wouldn’t mind putting an effort into our relationship.
And you were exactly that man. At least, that was who you appeared to be.
When we first met, you acted like you had everything I was looking for in a man. You were simply perfect.
And I am not talking about your looks or money here, because they were never important to me.
I am talking about your personality and how wonderful and amazing it appeared to be.
I am talking about the fact that you were someone who knew how to act and exactly what to tell me to get under my skin and to prove to me you were the right guy for me.
You claimed you were always honest and you were patient enough to earn my trust.
And you achieved that, although deep down, at first, I doubted your intentions. I was scared that you were too good to be true.
But you claimed you had big plans for me. You claimed I was the woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with and that I was the only one you could ever love.
After a while, all of my doubts disappeared.
You talked about our future like it was a real-life fairy tale. You talked about how our love would never die and that we’d live happily ever after. We talked about buying a house together, about having kids and a big dog. We even had the names ready.
And then, all of a sudden, everything was gone. You left me without saying a word, like we never existed, proving to me that all of your promises were just big, fat lies.
Of course, you hurt my feelings and you caused me enormous pain. But you disappointed me even more.
And that is something I will never be able to forgive you for. Yes, you did break my heart just by leaving me.
But the promises you didn’t fulfill caused me more pain. I even blamed myself for being so foolish to believe in every single word that came out of your mouth.
When I come to think of it, you were the man who promised me the world but ended up giving me nothing.
I am not going to lie to you—you weren’t the first man who had hurt my feelings nor the first man who left me. But you did cause me the most pain and nobody has ever disappointed me the way you did.
Because with you, I felt like I could reach the stars. I felt like I was on top of the world and when you left, I fell hard.
And I think I would have had an easier time going through our break-up if you hadn’t been so perfect. When you are with someone who doesn’t give you big promises and who doesn’t try hard to be the best man ever in your eyes, somehow you know what to expect from that person. Or to be exact, you probably don’t expect much.
But with you, everything was different. You tried so hard to convince me you were not like the others and in the end, you proved to me that you were even worse.
And that is the one thing I will never understand.
Why did you have to make all those promises if you didn’t plan to fulfill them? Why did you put so much effort into building my dreams, if you had the intention of shattering them?
Was it to boost your ego? Was it to hurt me intentionally? Or did you do it all unintentionally?
Because I never asked you to do any of this. And I certainly didn’t ask you to hurt my feelings this badly.