When you come to think about your previous relationships, you come to the conclusion that all of the men from your past were emotionally damaged in a way. Although some of them were aware of it and some were not, some were honest about it, some not, and some showed this in the beginning, they were all actually pretty similar. When you look at these guys from the outside, they looked different, had different professions, had a different sense of humor and from the outside they were all different types of men. But once you got to know each one of them and when you looked inside of their character and personality, you saw that all of them had one thing in common: they were all broken in a way. Besides that, another thing they had in common was you.
In the beginning, you refused to accept that these guys were broken. And when you finally did, you thought this was just a weird coincidence. You even blamed them for always finding a way to get close to you and to attract you. But after numerous relationships with a similar outcome, the harsh truth hit you—you were the one attracting all those broken men. This was happening too often and for too long for it to be a coincidence.
Yes, all of these men displayed similar behavior and they all showed some type of behavior which made it difficult for you to sustain a healthy romantic relationship with them. But it can’t all be their fault, can it? There must be something in your personality that attracted all those damaged guys. Besides, nobody has ever forced you to be with them nor to stay with them. Your relationships were your conscious choices and you are wondering what kind of energy you display that attracts this type of man.
Well, first of all, let me tell you that you probably have low self-esteem problems. Although this is something you are not aware of, deep down you subconsciously think that you can’t attract anyone better. Besides, this low self-esteem is the first thing these guys see in you and this is especially the case with emotional manipulators and abusers. The fact is that they need someone who has confidence issues because otherwise they would feel intimidated by this person. Also, your self-esteem problems make it easier for them to manipulate you and to bring you down to their level and this is what they are actually looking for.
It is also likely that you are afraid of being alone, as much as you hate to admit it. Over the course of the years, you’ve gotten so used to being in a relationship that you would rather be in a lousy one than single. Bad relationships have become your comfort zone and you would rather be stuck in an unhealthy relationship than step out of your comfort zone and look for something else. As much as you hate to admit it, this type of relationship has become your pattern of behavior, even though you know they are bad for you—just because they represent something familiar and something you think you can handle.
Also, one of the main reasons women end up dating broken men is because they want to be their savior. It is possible that you think of yourself as this superwoman whose mission is to fix an emotionally damaged person, especially if that is a man who fell for you. When you hear that a man tells you he doesn’t want to commit or when he characterizes himself as being incapable of loving, instead of running away from him, you take it as a challenge. You think that you are the only person who could prove him wrong and who could heal all of his wounds and scars.
But sadly, some people don’t want to be saved, no matter how hard you try. Sadly, sometimes, after being involved with an emotionally broken man, you don’t accomplish anything except becoming just like him. And that is what has been happening to you all along.
So please find the strength in yourself to break this toxic pattern of behavior. Find the strength in yourself to step out of your comfort zone and to realize you really deserve more than this. Trust me—it will be for your own good.