If you’ve ever been hurt and betrayed by a man in the past, that has drastically changed your perspective on love and relationships. You gave your entire self to someone but sadly, you got nothing in return. Or you got way less than you deserved.
It took you a long time to get over this man and to stop loving him, although you always knew how bad and toxic he was for you. But despite this, your heart kept holding on to this guy. For years, you thought he’d change and you kept justifying the way he was treating you. You kept hoping that he would love you the way you loved him and that he would see how much pain he was causing you. But that didn’t happen, despite all of your efforts. And with time, you grew to realize that it would never happen.
So you found the strength deep inside of you and you managed to walk away from this man. For the first time ever, you decided it was time for you to leave him and to never look back. And that was exactly what you did. Of course, in the beginning, you suffered. You missed him even though you knew you shouldn’t and you fought with yourself and with the love you were feeling for him. But you managed to come out of this pain as a winner.
Now, you are sure that you don’t love this guy anymore and you think that he has become just a distant memory. But getting over your feelings isn’t the hardest part. The hardest part is getting over everything he’s done to you and regaining your trust in men and in people in general.
Yes, you forgot all about him and that was a huge step for your recovery but this doesn’t mean this man hasn’t left deep scars on your soul and on your personality in general. The pain you’ve been through and everything this toxic man has done to you has changed you for good. It has made you a different person. Ever since you broke things off with him, you stopped believing in love. You stopped being the nice girl who believed in the good in people, you stopped believing that everybody deserves a chance and you stopped opening up to people. And most of all, you lost all trust in men.
You simply expect every man you meet to be the same as your ex. You think that everyone will hurt you and take advantage of you the same way he did. You think that no man alive could love you the way you deserve. You think that you could never rely on someone else besides yourself because you’ve been betrayed more than once.
So naturally, you’ve become scared of love. You decided not to let love into your life because you are sure that it would only bring you suffering and humiliation. And that is the last thing you need. That is something you’ve been through in the past and you are not ready to face again.
And I don’t blame you. And I know you don’t feel this way on purpose. All the pain you’ve been through made you this way. This has become your defense mechanism, your way of protecting yourself because you saw that nobody else would do it for you.
But trust me—not every guy will hurt you. No matter what you think now, not all men are the same.
But I am not here to give you any false hope. I know we would all love to know a man’s personality the moment we meet him. We would like to see who the toxic ones are at first sight, so we could avoid them in time. But that is something you’ll never know. And also, that is something you shouldn’t be afraid of.
Yes, there are toxic men out there. But as long as you think that every man who comes into your life will hurt you, you will miss out on a lot. You will miss out on some great guy who will do anything to make you happy.
And when you first meet this guy, you won’t know his true intentions. You won’t know if he is the guy for you. You won’t know if he is the man who will see your true worth or just another immature guy who will try to hurt your feelings.
And this is something nobody can tell you. Nobody can guarantee that he won’t hurt you. You just have to take a chance and you need to be ready for that risk.
Yes, he could be the same as everyone else. He could be the mistake of your life and you could regret ever meeting him and ever giving him a chance. You could regret ever letting this guy in and ever opening up to him.
But on the other hand, he could be the love of your life. He could be everything you’ve ever looked for. He could be your soulmate and the person who would love and appreciate you the way nobody else did and the way you deserve.
The point is that you will never know. And that is the beauty of it all. And that is why it’s time you let someone tear down those walls you’ve built.