• January 13, 2018

IF YOU ARE GOING TO WALK AWAY FROM ME, PLEASE STAY AWAY

‘Dear you’,

If you are planning on walking away from my life, please stay as far away as you can. I won’t be begging you to stay and I will respect your decision. You were probably thinking about that for a long time and in the end you made the right decision. So, don’t think that I will make a scene in front of you or that I will tell you that I will kill myself if you leave. I will just be a little bit broken but I will manage to pick myself up and start from scratch.

I know that it won’t be easy and I know that I will spend so many sleepless nights thinking about you, but some day it will pay off.

Every tear that falls down will pay off and I will finally be happy.

But in all this mess that we are currently going through, I want one thing to be crystal clear—if you leave me once, you can’t get a second chance. I won’t be there to tell you that we can start over and that everything will be fine. I won’t be able to handle months passing by and then you realize that you still love me so you decide to come back into my life again. At first it will be messaging me on social media sites. Then you won’t get enough of me so you will want to see me.

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You will call me late at night just to hear my voice and I will think that maybe there is still hope for the two of us.

I can’t handle going through the same hell with you again. I can’t stand that you will look at me with those puppy dog eyes one more time and that a spark between us will be stronger than ever before but in the blink of an eye it will burn out, together with our love.

I can’t handle your promises anymore. I don’t need them, I need consistency.

I don’t want to give myself false hope that everything will be fine and then when I least expect it, my house of cards falls.

I can’t handle sharing my life with you again. Because if I do that, it will be like a ticking bomb until you shut me out of your life again. I can’t give myself all in because I know that in the end, I will end up broken with so many scars and cracks in my heart. The last thing I want is to have dreams with you and watch them fall apart again. I can’t go through that anymore. I am not strong enough to put up with your crap anymore.

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But most of all, I can’t stand your promises of eternal love anymore.

You made a fool out of me once but you won’t get a second chance to do that. If I learned anything so far it is not to trust the one who hurt you intentionally. So, no matter what you do, I will never let you hurt me again. I won’t be the one who will sit and wait for you, being afraid that you will be in a bad mood and that you will blame me for all of your problems. I don’t want to be the one who will beg for love. Love is not about that. Love should be as natural as breathing and I won’t settle for someone who doesn’t understand that.

I deserve so much more than you can give me. I deserve real love and most of all I deserve a man who stays!

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