When you are engaged in a relationship with a narcissist, you can feel that you are losing yourself bit by bit. You feel like you are not the same person anymore and that the person you are madly in love with feels nothing except ignorance for you.
All you want is to love him and for him to reciprocate in the same way but that is quite hard to get because of his personality disorder. A person like this is simply incapable of love.
Most of them have some trauma from their past and that’s why they act the way they do. When women reach their breaking point with a narcissistic lover, they have no other option but to leave. But maybe leaving is not as hard as living without them.
You know that there is no future with them but just the thought of living without them stabs you in the heart like the sharpest blade.
But you should know that it is always better to leave than to hold on to something that was never real. It is better to save yourself from a toxic relationship that can only do harm to you.
I know that the path of recovering from a narcissist is long but it is definitely one worth taking. And this is how you will know for sure that you are actually over your narcissistic ex and that you have started a new chapter of your life.
1. You don’t feel the need to contact them
This is the hardest thing for all victims of narcissistic abuse. It is not easy to give up on someone you still love because you think that you can save them. You believe they can change but every time they hurt you, you realize that it is in vain to try to save them.
Because truth be told, you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. That’s why the best thing you can do is step away and live your life without them. I won’t lie to you and tell you that with the help of friends and family you will get over them because you won’t.
You will get over them when you decide that in your mind. You will get over them when you realize that they will never be able to give you the love you need and that no matter how much they try, they can’t change.
This period will be hard but trust me that the no contact rule is the best thing you can do if you want to get over your narcissistic ex.
2. You are able to live on your own
Not only are you able to live on your own but you feel great about that. You see, when being in a narcissistic relationship, they brainwash you and make you think that you are incapable without them.
And even if you have the strongest character, you will crack under the pressure sooner or later. And once you leave them, you will be under the impression that you are not good enough and that you can’t function on your own.
But that feeling will vanish over time and you will be the old you again. And when that happens and when you feel like you are the ruler of your destiny again, you will feel enormous happiness and pleasure because your life is in your hands again.
3. You don’t mind if they have another partner
You will know that you are over your narcissistic ex if you don’t mind seeing him with another partner. You won’t feel bad about it but you will certainly feel sorry for the person dating him.
You won’t feel jealous and you won’t want to be in her shoes because you already know what it feels like. You will feel peace every time that you see him and your heart won’t beat like crazy.
You will feel ignorant toward him, just like he felt toward you throughout your whole relationship.
When you start feeling this way, just know that you made a giant leap forward and that you learned from your bad experience.
4. You are emotionally strong just like before
The thing is that every relationship with a narcissist will drain you physically and emotionally. It can affect you badly with your body, your mental health and your behavior.
You can transform into a person you never thought you would be if you let them walk all over you. And they are damn good actors so you won’t even know what is happening until it is too late. But once you end a narcissistic relationship, you will feel like you are bringing your energy back.
You won’t be so anxious or depressed and you will smile again. You will see the joy in small things because they matter the most and every day will be a blessing to you. Once you break up with a man who has beaten you to an emotional death, you will rise from the ashes like a phoenix.
And you will be so damn proud of yourself for finally getting over your toxic ex.
5. You will gain self-esteem
Every victim of narcissistic abuse feels the same. They think that they are not good enough, not worthy enough and that they were broken so badly that no man will ever be able to love them.
But that is just their perception which is totally wrong because they have been abused for so long. Because of the brainwashing and gaslighting, they believed that their abuser was better than them.
But that is not true because every human being is special and unique just the way they are. All those victims of narcissistic abuse had the bad luck to fall for a man who couldn’t care less about them.
And trust me, it is not so easy to escape from the claws of your abuser because he will always find ways to bring you back. But once you do that, don’t look back. The only time you need to look back is to see how far you have come.
When you leave all that was toxic in your life, you will see that you are gaining your self-esteem again and that you don’t question your self-worth. You will see that you are turning into the positive person you once were and that life makes sense after all.
6. You don’t feel fear anymore
While you were in a narcissistic relationship, you were afraid to make a wrong move that would bug your abuser.
You couldn’t be yourself and you couldn’t express your feelings like you wanted. But once you break free from someone toxic like that, you will feel like you haven’t felt for a long time.
You will feel like you can breathe with full lungs again and that there are no rules that you need to obey. When you move away from a narcissist, you will look healthier and feel better than ever.
You will feel like a hero because you were able to get away from his claws and to save yourself in time. You will forget all about fear and doing the things he wanted you to do because you will follow only your rules now.
You will finally be ready for big things in your business life and your private life and you won’t think of yourself as a victim.
7. You finally feel good in your own skin
You know what happened to you and you won’t be able to forget that. But you decided to change your perspective and you are turning all the bad and negative things into positive ones.
You don’t want to be someone people will manipulate anymore and you are critical when choosing a love partner. You don’t make yourself easy to get and in that way, you gain respect from men.
You feel like a true badass woman ready to conquer the world. You feel like your bad experience has just made you stronger and that being a bit bitchy can actually save you from some men.
You are not ready to settle for less than you deserve and if a man wants to get you, he will need to work hard for that. You finally feel like you can live your life to the fullest, not asking for anyone’s approval, and that makes you the happiest woman alive.